Cora vs. St Patrick's Day

Ok. So originally I had planned to abandon this blog after summer 2012 but what can I say? It’s not happening. Cora is back in Boston and the fight against all the strange things that make up this strange place called USA continues. Cora vs America, take two. And this time I arrived prepared: I have a cellfone. I still have the plates and glasses and pans I bought last summer. I know how to use the ATM. It’s winter, so no fight against the air conditioning (but against the heating, as you will discover soon.) Let the fight begin. Round one: Cora vs St Patrick’s Day Parade.

So apparently Boston is a massive irish colony. And so St Patrick’s day is supposed to be pretty big. (Btw does ANYONE know what this Patrick guy actually did? Like? Drink loads of guiness or what? Cause all I associate with him is... green. And beer. Please enlighten me.) So anyway we went on google and it said there was gonna be a massive parade with some 1 million people watching and I thought „oh cool loads of irish people dancing in the streets in green and white and orange and irish music and i dont know something like Fasnacht or something?“ well. It was not the case people. But let me tell you the whole story. So we took the T to the southern part of Boston where all the irish folks are supposed to dwell. And indeed there were masses of people dressed in at least 50 shades of green. And some were quite drunk. And many were quite hyper. And I thought „oh this is gonna be nice“. And i was freezing cause as you know my coat is with an evil thief of Cambridge, UK. So we tried to make our way through the masses, trying to find a place where we could see the parade. People were pushing, it was rather scary. I’m just always scared people will crush me to death. But luckily that did not happen. So then we waited for some 30min and then things started to move. A few policement in neon protective clothing walked down the street. Fair enough, police is leading the way. Then came some policemen on motorcycles. Ok. It’s america, they want security. Fair enough. Then policecars. Ok. But surely that’s enough now? Let the parade start. But no guys. NO NONO. We need more. Policemen on HORSES. A policeBOAT (pulled by a truck) a SWAT car. A Special Operations Car. A TANK (haha no i’m joking there was no tank. But everything else is the truth) but it’s not all. Then there was a break. Then more police. And then some marching bands. And Piping bands. And a blood donation car. (WTF?) and loads of firefighters. And the firefighter veterans. And a candidate to the senate. And more firefighters. And I ask myself: Where are the irish? And then they came. One or two trucks with some irish people . Someone dressed up as ST Patrick, others just in green. But nothing extraordinary. And after a few groups it was over. And along comes the army. First the marines. Then the air force. And people around me are shouting „USA! USA! USA!“ And I want to vomit. And then KIDS. Kids in univorms and with fake  guns. And i want to vomit some more. And cry. Like, seriously? And then the US army police. And then some army guys in WWII costumes. And in civil war costumes. And some more kids in uniforms. And in between, a rare irishman. But very rare indeed. But I still had hope. Surely after all this military there would come the time of the irish. Well. WEIT GEFEHLT. (sorry but nothing matches better here than this german expression) because next came: THE VETERANS. And i wanted to shoot myself. So here we go: Marine veterans, air force veterans, piping veterans, veteraning veterans.... it just wouldn’t end! And Cora starts to get very very angry. And it was so cold. (My foot actually turned black, it was a rather scary event). And then... when you think it’s all over comes: Star Wars. Yeah, a truck with Darth Vader, loads of Clones and Jedis. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love star wars, like, I LOVE it. But this was supposed to be an irish parade guys.. i don’t remember Darth Vader being irish. honestly.

So then I decided it was time to leave. So feeling rather disappointed we left south boston and it’s failed parade and went to drown our sorrows with domino’s pizza. Yeah. Food in America. AMAZING STUFF.